Sunday, November 27, 2011

Investigative Journalism

On Saturday the 26th I went to visit my Spiritual Adviser, Sister Marguerite of Jesus at the Carmel of St. Joseph  and it was the loveliest day of my life.

Here we are with her dog:
I'm the one in blue, if you couldn't tell.

Anyhow, I could tell you all about the wonderful things but that's not why you're here is it?!
THE GIFT SHOP.  Sorry, "Shoppe."

So the gift shoppe might not have been...exactly...open...when I went down there.  Because all the lights were off.  But listen, there's not much to do in a cloistered convent when you're alone and can't go chill with the nuns because they're eating, ok?

Glow in the dark holy family.  They also had glow in the dark Mary, Jesus, O.L of Fatima, St. Christopher and St. Padre Pio.  

The St. Therese wall.  With the most horrifying "busts" of St. Therese I had ever seen. 

"After my death I shall let fall from Heaven a shower of Roses.  Then eat your soul"
Seriously SHE HAS NO EYES.

The statuary cabinet which had plastic statues of the usual.  St. Francis, Padre Pio, St. Christopher.  I bought some nice books and a new rosary but stayed clear of the plastic statue of Blessed JPII.

These are the lengths I go to for you, readers.  I broke into a gift "shoppe" run by nuns to take pictures of their plastic statues that glow in the dark.  Luckily Sister Marguerite didn't care.
"Did you go downstairs?"
"Yes...is that ok?"
(with a "the most obvious thing in the entire world" tone) "....yes" 
"Ok, I saw some stuff I like down there actually."
"Alright, good, I want to see what's down there it's been a while since I've gone."

GUYS NUNS ARE THE BEST.

Somewhere in the world

Somewhere in the world, a woman named Kim suggested this be on her tombstone.  And no one stopped her.  

I can't even begin to say anything about this.  It's just.  I can't.

Sunday, November 20, 2011

Christ the King!

Behold Jesus! King of the circus!  Able to balance 3 crowns on His head and walk across a tightrope! 
And for His next trick He will balance 6 spinning chalices on 4 foot poles!

Friday, November 11, 2011

Those with suicidal tendencies should maybe not watch


Uh...amber alert amber alter.  I really doubt those children are there because they want to be.  Seriously this has child molestation written all over it.
Oh, and you'll refer to your time before hearing this song as "the good ol' days" because it's never leaving your head. You're welcome.

Tuesday, November 8, 2011

Crazy people, ignore this

If I have any crazy people in my readership, prepare to no longer like me

Now listen.  I've been avoiding "The Third Eagle" for a while since I think he's insane in a not-cute way like you sometimes can find with Catholics on the internet.

However.

He's reached my shores now with all his rosary and scapular talk.

I wear a scapular.

I pray the rosary daily.

I still think this entire 12 minute video is a 40 foot well of crazy topped off with insanity with a cherry on top.


Even Our Lady of Mount Carmel is rolling her eyes at the moment.

Sunday, November 6, 2011

Post is Unrelated

As some of you may, or may not, know this past June I had to have my poor little pug Percy put down, and just last week my best friend, my lab, Buddy had to be put down too. Anyway, long miserable story short and happy: I've picked my next dog.

Meet my pug puppy, coming home December 10
His name is Joseph, or Joey for short, after St. Joseph my patron (other than St. Therese.  Which I thought was an inappropriate name for a male dog.)

Another reader submitted entry!

I think this is the most horrifying thing I've ever seen, and I watch reality TV on a regular basis.

This comes from an anonymous Benedictine Monk, who I'm sure might end up in a little bit of trouble using the internet for judging when he should probably be somewhere praying or...I don't know...monking or something.

Anyway

According to him, this is a shop in Fatima (oh, boy I can see where this is going) where he states " the plan is you get cured of an ailment and leave a wax model of the cured part, yes that is what you think it is! There is obviously no curing male ailments unless they are under the counter!"

Ok, besides being a little witch crafty, and a little creepy, and a little on the rocky-horror side with the wax breast on display...and...wait what was I talking about?  Sorry, I got distracted by the dismembered wax body on display.

Thanks Brother *Secret Name*!

Saturday, November 5, 2011

Reader Submitted Melodrama!

This comes to us from MiDi, all the way from Austria!

It's what appears to be a group of singing priests doing a dramatic re-enactment of a high school boy's first attempt at writing romantic literature.



I doubt I can add anything to what she said:

Hi!
I wondered whether you would like to post this video – it is a serious meant one, I assure you, made by three Austrian and German priests, trying o do their best to make Catholicism or Faith popular … it’s part of a CD, which is… well, the same style, called “Spiritus Dei” …
I can’t help laughing – and being sad at the same time, as the video (AND the music) is KITSCH and ridiculous, at the same time, because of all the clich├ęs in it – and doesn’t help to “improve” my faith in any way …


All this needed was a southern woman to come down with the vapors and be caught be someone on a white horse to be complete.

Wednesday, November 2, 2011

I know this opinion is not popular


But depictions of guardian angels are are freaking terrifying.

Tuesday, November 1, 2011

Essays are complete! Let's judge!

Well, today I hand in my I-beg-your-pardon-why-do-you-hate-me-professors essays and therefore am now able to judge other people's devotion.

And believe it or not, this is not a set from the upcoming remake of Stephen King's "Carrie" it's someone's home altar.  At least that's what it appears to be based on my google search criteria.

At first I thought "oooh that's beautiful!" Then I started looking.  
KITSCH CHECK LIST:
>Statues wearing rosaries as necklaces (check)
>Terrifying depiction of Our Lord's suffering (check)
>Dead flowers. (Check)
>Our Lady wearing a crown three times the size of her head (check)
>Floating baby heads with wings (check)
>Baby Jesus. (check)

And for extra credit, there's a teddy bear, sitting on Jesus' shoulder.
I'm sorry, this crossed the border lands of art and kitsch, and now it dwells in my valley.