Sunday, April 3, 2011

Workin' Out With Jesus!

Hey fatties!  If you're like me, you've just realized you failed to meet your January diet deadline.  For serious I was trying to loose 20 pounds...not that I'm obese or anything I just wanted to look a little less puffy, and I was doing great and lost 15 and was getting compliments then I just decided oh whatever and gave up.  Anyway, down 15 pounds, but how to get rid of that last 5 to finally get the figure I've always wanted?

See, how well His Sacred Heart diet plan works?

First a little yoga...

In through the nose.........out through the nose.........look inward.

Then some bicep reps

Lift!  No...look...LIFT...ugh....I'm not going to spot you if you're just going to fart around....LIFT.

Then, push ups.

Look, just because you're the Divine Son of God and God the Son does not mean you get to show off how you can do push ups on the air in front of you.  Some of us are a little self conscious about having to do them the "girl" way, ok?

Then, some dancing for cardio!

"When you call my name, it's like a little prayer, I'm down on maaah knees I wanna take you there....come on!  One, two, shuffle step, the midnight hour I can feel your power...."

And finally, the most difficult part of His workout...

"No dessert, thank you, I'm full."


  1. OK, that is surely sacrilegious, but I laughed.

  2. Don't worry, the border between sacrilegious and funny is a thin one on a good day