Yesterday in Detroit, which will supply me for WEEKS of kitsch let me tell you, we stopped at a little mall called "oakland mall" which was pretty neat and turns out I love Macy's for more than the thanksgiving day parade...didn't buy anything though because I'm cheap.
ANYWAY not important (i shouldn't blog before breakfast) there was a kiosk in the middle of the mall selling belt buckles...and...like a vision of Heaven:
Tacky Jesus Belt Buckles
The Lord needs to be right above your penis.
Here is God the Father mourning over the loss of His Divine Son, WITH GLITTER.
If you can put glitter on it, put glitter on it!
Ok there's the blessed Virgin, with the phrase..."Heart Breaker" under her....just...let that sink in. An LSD spiderweb that says FAITH, "I Am the Way the Truth and the Life" John 14:6, for your local "hip" fundamentalist pastor, an Our Lady of Guadalupe in the back (naturally.) Jesus being nailed to the Cross in sepia, and then a clip art collection of Crosses.
BUT WAIT THERE'S MORE!!~
The Bible! More clip art! Jesus in agony looking down at your nu-nu! An Ecce Homo with a distressed vintage look! The Sacred Heart! An actually neat silver Sacred Heart!
BUT IF YOU CALL NOW WE'LL THROW IN...
CROSSES! PRAYING HANDS! A PRAISE THE LORD THING! ANOTHER BIBLE! AND
All for the low low price of just 40 effing dollars. Merci, Detroit.