I am not dead!

I am just in school!  No time to blog!  I'll be back to normal once I don't have essays coming out of holes I didn't even know I had!

"Ok you know what, Jesus, you can take a break while I'm reading "History of the Development of Biblical Interpretation in the 19th Century" it's not interesting enough to sustain me, let alone you."

I Think I Know why Our Lady is Crying

                             

Wall of Happiness

These are a ffeewww of my faaavourite thiiiiings !!

"What are you hanging up over there?"

"Oh nothing, just a painting  on black velvet of the Virgin Mary with a kitten in a blanket."

"Oh."

I Beg Your Pardon?

Never before has so little been said so loudly.

Wait.

Is that...
no...could it be?

IS SHE THE LITURGICAL DANCER IN THIS ABOMINATION?

I can only hope there is a person out there with that much crazy in them....

Everything is Beautiful and Nothing Hurts

I need to bring your attention to the fact that a fiber optic crucifix that plays "Silent Night" exists.  That is all.

We Have to go Deeper

I suggest clicking and looking at the full version of this picture.  Because, and I'm not joking, every time you think you found the kitschy, most horrible, hideous part of the statue...and even the background...you discover another thing just a bit worse, it's infinite.  Infinite. 

This has nothing to do with Catholicism

But is something I'm working on.  And that's yours truly in the wig.

What is this? I can't even...

In what world was making these necessary?

 

Embroidered holy cards.  Let me say that again.  Embroidered.  Holy.  Cards.
IT HAPPENED PEOPLE.  IT. HAPPENED.

I can't decide

At first I thought "that's beautiful!" then I kept looking and thought "That's hideous beyond words."

Either way, a happy feast day to my beloved patron, Saint Therese!

I've posted this before, but it's a movie I made based on one of the plays of Saint Therese, feel like it's appropriate for today.

Now go out there and buy some roses if she didn't give you any!

The 80's Were Rough for Everyone

As if it wasn't bad enough Our Lord got a terrible perm, He also happened to wear what might be the ugliest robe in existence, and Twisted-Sister style makeup to the yearbook photo shoot...

You know in 20 years He'll look back and laugh and laugh but for now He'll just have to hide His student card...

Coming to a Drive In Near You

ATTACK OF THE FOURTY-THOUSAND-FOOT-VIRGIN

...nothing can protect you from her LAZER HANDS

in a double-feature with

Saint Paul's Letter to the Phillipians! in EYE GOUGING 3-D!!

Queen of All the Is Bad and Tacky

Each of the elements in this shrine, by themselves, are border line lovely.  But the combination of all of them together, then a coat of dollarama paint has transformed it into a lifetime prime-time movie version of the visions of St. Bernadette. 

Another reader submitted entry!

From Andrew Cole
who says

"Something you may find useful or appalling"

Andrew, in my book those are synonyms.

Let me walk you through this.  First of all, it appears as though the Divine Child is standing on some kind of cake, perhaps a Nanimo bar.  Second, those are child bearing hips.  Our Lord did not have an hour glass figure.  Third.  I could say something horribly inappropriate about the region about the legs but I, for one, intend on going to Heaven so I'll skip that over.  Fourth. That face looks like a pug that ate a lemon.  Fifth.  The crown is three times the size of his head.

"Thanks" Andrew.   

And a big thanks to those who had kind words to say in the comments last post.  I actually pray for my readers.  Is that awful?  This is a "Let's mock ugly things" blog and I actually care about y'all.  So anyway thanks for the kind words last post.

I am on the internet in a starbucks

I have become everything I hate.
Anyway, as is my custom, everything has gone to pot, so I wont be able to post until probably wed. because SURPRISE my internet died.  Anyway...remember to vote on www.thecrescat.blogpsot.com for me!!

You will all have to be forgiving

Because I'm about to unleash a flood of pride.
I'm on my way to confession after this, I promise.

Over at The Crescat it's the time of year where we all celebrate Catholics on the internet with The Cannon Ball Awards, and I've been nominated! 
I'm nominated for Snarkiest Catholic Blog (how dare you.) so my very dear and beloved readers, head on over there and vote for me!  OR for someone who deserves it!

GO AND VOTE OR I WILL SEND A HERD OF OUR LADY OF GUADALUPE'S AFTER YOU.

You know I've got them waiting.

Guess whose Patron Saint's Novena starts today

In case you couldn't figure it out, it's mine.

So I'll do my best for the next 9 days to provide you with all the St. Therese Kitsch the internet has to offer, and being that she is a popular lady I shouldn't have to try too hard


Let's kick this off with a little cartoon, which is I guess called Brother Francis, but  I refer to it as "Screw you HISTORY".

St. John of the Cross

As is my custom, I've managed to get very sick in the first couple weeks of school.  This means I have been laying in bed reading a lot because the judgmental shows on TLC don't come on until 8ish, and Salt+Light television (Canada's multi-lingual answer to EWTN) is in Korean until like three o'clock.  I just re-re-re-read Story of a Soul for you-know-who's feast day next Saturday, and so I picked up The Collected Works of St. John of the Cross which I had on my bookshelf for a couple of years.

Hold. The. Phone.

This guy.

Ugh, I could KISS HIS FACE.  

I won't go into detail because if you wanted theology you could go read Fr. Longnecker.  So instead, here is a very beautiful painting of St. John of the Cross

Oh, sorry, did I say beautiful, I meant Pedroful.  As in

I'm sorry, I refuse to accept that he looked like a Mexican wrestler.  

I think I'm MORE afraid of the dark now

And on a side note, I have not forsaken you, I just have more homework than any human should ever have, issues with 3 of my classes for next term and 2 jobs so sadly this may have to take a back seat to real life. 

Several Reader Submitted Posts!

This comes from Maureen Brown-Petracca who was kind enough to send me the link to something I had never heard of, the Autom catalog, or, as I like to call it.  My new religion.


Here's something she suggested I check out...

This is like....point A for whenever I want to get blogging, Thanks Maureen!