Happy Halloween, Sinners!

Let your heathen neighbours know who'll be going to Heaven for sure this year with:

JESUS PUMPKINS!

Because that's what all little kids give a damn about on Candy Day.


For halloween this year, Jesus is going out as a 40 year old gentile.


This one's actually kind of neat...too bad it'll be the first one smashed on devil's night. Damn punks!



For those less artistic and more direct.


And finally...
Mary the Mother of Gourd.
Her immaculate conception means that although we had to carve her face out of a vegitable, she felt know pain in the removal of goop.

New Fangled Technology...

Childrens! I am currently blogging not from my usual computer (or as my grandmother would say "on the google") located at a secret location in the basement of a Carmelite monastery in Lourdes, but from my friend/priest/boss/pimp Fr. Bill Cliff's office. I have hijaked his computer without his knowledge or consent. And now for the kitsch:


she appears to have a broken vase on her head, in the tradition of the cowardly lion.



HE APPROACHES i must go before he beats me like Mr.___ in the colour purple!

I have blogged from 2 different computers.
I am officialy "tech savy"

I've been on a Therese kick

as of late because i recently visited her shrine in niagara. Got to see some hardcore relics of her (hair, story of a soul...like it's a pretty important place)
she was one holy lady.

anyway, here's a picture of the kitchiest thing they had down there (other than in the gift shop. oh, lawd, the gift shop.)


bathtub shrine + pebbles + other people's rosaries hanging off her neck + dead roses + dollarama fake roses + candles with old people's photo's taped to them = a good day.

uuuuugugghhhhhhh i wish i was still THERE!

I can't tell

I can't tell if this guy is doing a sped up version of the litany of Saints (my kind of litany p.s.) or naming all the pictures he can find in my room.



i'm going with the later.

Therese is rolling in her reliquaries.

Ok, if these are the people who got the roles, I do NOT want to see the auditions that didn't make it.
I'm also about 90% sure that the guy playing Mon. Martin wrote, directed and produced the movie (which, if anyone's ever seen The Room knows is a recipie for success.)
One day, I will make a good St. Therese movie. Mark my words. Actually...one day I will make *a* Saint Therese movie is probably more accurate.

***UPDATE: I hope you did mark those words because Feb. 8th 2011, my Therese movie comes out, so WATCH IT MY DEAR AMIES.***

My dream house!

Why God will never let me win the lottery:
"THAT INCREDIBLY CREEPY/DISTRESSING STATUE OF JESUS IS ONLY 9000 DOLLARS. IT'LL FIT IN THE CAR, RIGHT?"

An open letter

To the poor person who found my blog by searching " "Protestant Nonsense" Halloween "

You are welcome, sir.
Or M'am...your honour...father, doctor.

Anyway,
I feel like we have something in common based on the google search.

Oh, yeah and the rest of you can watch this video because *something sarcastic*

Happy Saint Luke's Day!

Saint Luke is the patron saint of doctors which can only mean one thing...
PAGING DOCTOR JESUS!
WE NEED 30 CC'S OF TAZZLEPRAMAZAXADRILL STAT!


Actually, this is not a picture of Dr. Jesus, this is a picture of a sad Assyrian immagrint who was a certified doctor in his country but now has to work in a high school cafeteria. Welcome to Canada!


Story of my life. "Frank. Study. Frank, no, Frank look down at the book you're supposed to be....Frank. FRANK. I MEAN IT. ME DAMNIT, FACEBOOK ISNT GOING TO SHUT DOWN IF YOU DON'T LOOK AT IT FOR 10 MINUTES."


"Try poking the spleen with that sharp thing. See what happens then."


You should maybe have your patients wear more or else you'll also be doing time.



I saved the best for last. You're welcome.

In the immortal words of Liz Lemon

Whuck?



YOUR BIBLE READING PRIVELEDGES ARE REVOKED, SIR.

Beware!

Gather around, dearest readers, and GAZE INTO THE MAW OF HELL!

Dear Mother Angelica,

You are for seriously the coolest cat.
Also, may I please have a TV show on EWTN called "Watch Frank Complain!" where i just complain about stuff in a nun costume for an hour and a half.
it'll be entertaining...kind of like the catholic nancy grace!

*The Sound Throwing Up Makes*

Being that I am not the owner of Mary's Our Lady parts, I cannot say this for certain, but my guess is that if Jesus was all scarred and woundy with a big ol' crown of thorns He might have hurt just a tad coming out....

seriously this might be the creepiest thing i've ever seen.

A Poor Decision, brought to you by the Roman Catholic Church

This is the Travel Rosary
As the website describes it,

The Travel Rosary was designed for Catholics who spend time traveling in the car and want to use their time in a rewarding way. Having a Travel Rosary on your steering wheel is a good way to remind yourself to pray the Rosary while you are on the go. Each Travel Rosary is unique and one of a kind. They are custom designed and hand crafted to your individual specifications

EX-SQUEEZE ME?

I can barley KNEEL and pray the rosary let alone DRIVE. When you pray "now and at the hour of our death" you shouldn't BE ABOUT TO CAUSE THE HOUR OF YOUR DEATH BY PRAYING ON YOUR STEERING WHEEL. Please DO NOT ATTEMPT TO PRAY THE ROSARY while DRIVING.

This has been a message from The Saint Kitch Try-Not-To-Die-Today Foundation

I know what I want for Christmas

And there's only about 80 shopping days left, so get ready.

http://www.zazzle.co.uk/walking_with_jesus_shoes-167845666539156419


(it wont let me put a picture up, so you'll just have to click that link and buy them for me, won't you, dear reader, won't you?)

Why am I always the one coming up with titles?

VS.



Maybe more people would like to pray the Rosary if we had some more pamphlets with pictures like the latter on it.
just a thought...

Sunday Best

Been a while since I've done a non-kill-yourslef over post on a Sunday.
But today is different!




GAAAAHHH!!! I guess I'm back to ovulating if a wedding video has sent me into Churchysterics.

Any thoughts?

I think that this should be the official logo of Saint Kitsch...thoughts?

There Aren't any Words

Let me walk you through it.

So this guy....uhm...well he really really loves Doug Giles.
He's so RELEVENT y'all! And so UP ON THE ISSUES CHRISTIANS, sorry, AMERICANS FIND IMPORTANT!
Also, he thinks a Courtney Love reference is even remotley amusing...or relevant for that matter? Really? A courtney love joke? Didn't she almost die recently?
He's also drawing a charactature of what appears to be an Anglican priest (i'm guessing anglican because if a person like this guy was going to draw a Catholic I'm sure he'd draw something rude with an altar boy, I mean doesn't classiness just OOZE out of him?)

HE IS SO HARD CORE! I FEEL LIKE I AM WATCHING UFC BUT WITH A YOUTH PASTOR!!!

...i'm going back to reading Story of a Soul. yep, I'm sure glad I'm not protestant...

True Story

I've actually been wrapped up in what's happening in the Catholic world these past few weeks I have utterly forgotten that people like this even exsist:




I think in the future I'll keep it that way.
Seriously? Holy Spirit causing you to air hump your congregation?

Anyway, back to watching videos of people getting Communion on the tongue and whining about what the pope's wearing.

Happy Saint Therese Day!

The september/october overlap certainly has a LOT of holiness all up in thurr...st. michael, st. therese...st. francis in a couple days.





Anyway time for some cute overload!

which you can buy from here
THIS IS ADORABLE. For reals. Look at the little button roses....aww....who'd ever wanna give sometwing dwis cwoot tubercwuwosiwsis...



BUT WAIT THERE'S MORE!




i can just see it now...playing heaven doll house with my chillens by a crackling fire on christmas eve while the missus is contemplating suicide from her meaningless existance of cooking and cleaning....but mostly me doing some cheesey high pitched voice pretending to be st. therese having tea with st. agustine...
(both of those can be bought here)
AND THIS ONE IS JUST SO CRAFTY. First prize at the Bubmblehumble Towne Folk and Craft Festival...now for awarding some blue ribbon PUMPKIN PIE!!



Oh, Christ, I think I'm ovulating...QUICK I GOTTA SAY SOMETHING MEAN...uhm........uhmmmmm.....
AAAH!! my MEAN MUSCLE IS BUSTED...
DARN YOU THERSE AND YOUR BLASTED EFFECTIVE PRAYERS AND CONSTANT INTERCESSION. DARN. YOU!