Une Trailer de Movie-Film

Holla



That's what I'm working on, y'all!

The Voice of an Angel...

That rebelled and fell from Heaven to the pits of Hell.



If you can make it through, you get a gold star because I certainly couldn't make it.
I'm also obsessed with the fact that one of the related videos is the actual recordings from the exorcism of the lady who "Emily Rose" was based off of. I really don't think that's accidental.

OK I ACTUALLY AM DISTURBED BY THIS SONG. JESUS SAVE ME.

Mia Maxima Coulpa

Hey y'all

Sorry it's been kind of dead here for a while, I've been busy with school and stuff, but also I've been working on a film project based on a play by St. Therese, the first half is being filmed tomorrow. So to make up for the lack of crap on this blog for the past while, here is my attempt at a peace offering:

I believe in this picture, Our Lady is the "After" photo for a benedrill add.

Anyway, keep your eyes peeled (UGH i hate that saying...imagine that...peeling an eye...UGH...gross gross gross gross) for my movie coming out in a few weeks!

BUT GRANDPA---

From here

VATICAN CITY – Pope Benedict XVI told Catholic bloggers and Facebook and YouTube users Monday to be respectful of others when spreading the Gospel online and not to see their ultimate goal as getting as many online hits as possible.

Well that's all well and good, your fluffiness, but I doubt you've ever experienced the unique joy of sarcastic blogging for a semi-almost-not-very-popularish blog like mine.

For example:


The infant of Prague appears to need His Diaper changed, or a Nap. Or SOMETHING just for GOD'S SAKE don't see me next to Him on a plane. I didn't pay 219 dollars for this plane ticket for your Kid to scream in my ear the whole way, I'd just like to watch Ms. Congeniality on this itty bitty screen and eat these 5 peanuts.

You're fired

What ever your job is....you're fired from it. You know what, I'm calling Oprah who can at this point just fire you from living, which lets be honest....
ok maybe that went a little far but REALLY.

Think of how long this poor women thought this up.
You know what, let me call Harpo studios....

This is why I love the Spanish

They are adorable.

The Official Anthem

This is to be played at my funeral. Take notes, kids.

Tekknowlejy

For those either to stupid or to shakey to handle the simplest thing in the world...beads on an effing string it's

THE ELECTRO ROSARY which seems to make the whole "pray on this bead, then when you're done go to the next one" a thousand times easier with "put in 4 AAA batteries, press middle and try to keep up with the flashing lights, then press it again for the next mystery...oh and you'll also have to program it to what set of mysteries you want and if you don't it won't work, oh and it's 40 bucks."

Note that this was $95.00

Q: What is the opposite of nice?

A:

If loving this is wrong

I don't wanna be right.

as kitschy and god-awful as it is, I still kind of like it...it has its charms....

ALERT THE CARMELITES

EMERGENCY
SOMEONE ALERT TAN PUBLISHING AND THE CARMELITE NUNS OF FRANCE



THIS RECENT ARCHEOLOGICAL DISCOVERY HAS REVEALED ST. THERESE IN FACT DID NOT DIE OF TUBERCULOSIS AS PREVIOUSLY BELIEVED BUT A MAJOR, MAJOR CASE OF JAUNDICE. Or possible eating too many bananas.

Beauty

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder



So whenever the beholder is done with it, can she kindly remove it from her eye so this guy can have it back? Please?

I think this needs a commemorative plate

please note, this IS BEING SUNG IN A CHURCH. There is a table with a bible verse on it, plus a bible (being held up like a koran...theology hint?) and the butt end of a Cross.

And yet, these bastards would string me up for singing "Daily Daily Sing to Mary".

Another reader submitted entry!

Which gives me a raaaaging happy.

This comes from Robert H. Woodman (which, to me, sounds like the name an official from Buckingham Palace would have. You sound like a class act, Robert H. Woodman!) who says he got these at a white elephant party, which I know as yankee swap or mean Christmas, but anyhow. The lucky bastard won these.

And I am not joking in anyway at all, I had the Jesus version of these night lights because I was afraid of the dark and having a light up Jesus made me sleep a little easier. Oh, MEMORIES.

THANKS ROBERT!

A Teen Sex Comedy I could actually sit through

Why sometimes traditional IS just better

This very traditional Crucifix says "Father forgive them, they know not what they do"

while this one



says "OOGA BOOGA"

Rejoice, Liberals!

For behold, this priest has a woman (and let's be honest, a "womyn") and for that matter a BLACK woman at that living inside of him, all the while being a white man. I dub her "Bon Q'uway Q'uway". And she is now my best friend.

CHAMPIONS

of puns!

That's right, Catholics + Make your own T-shirt websites= suck it, protestants, we are the best at puns.






You can get all these (for me) at cafepress.com

Laughing Jesus

My least favourite "icon" is anything to do with a "laughing Jesus". Not that I don't think Jesus has a sense of humour, but mostly because, without exception, He looks like a psychopath in these pictures.







NO EXCEPTIONS.

There is nothing funny

There is nothing funny in this picture.

Nothing at all.

Seriously just stare at this picture and try not to laugh.

Music makes the difference

Being a person who makes movies on the side, I know what an enormous difference background music can make when coupled with an image.

Let us take, for example, this


found here

Look at that picture and listen to the following, it's quite an experience.



You're welcome.

Uhm...This HAPPENED?

REMEMBER WISHBONE?
REMEMBER WHEN THIS HAPPENED?
NO?
WELL
THIS HAPPENED.

Sunday Best

I miss doing the happier posts so I'm going to try to do them again.




I doubt you can comprehend the happiness this picture gives me.

And now for my favourite thing other than being judgmental....
NUNS!

The Following

The following video is a pretty decent representation of what I was subjected to at Mass last sunday

Don't you girls have anything better to do?!

No, reverend mother.

There is nothing worse

Search the highest mountain, the deepest sea, climb into a 40 mile deep cave, browse through every library on the earth, peruse in every art gallery, museum or private collection, examine every country, county, city, township and village, dig through all the garbage dumps
I promise you

you. will. not. find. anything. worse.

...you can keep it

Well it is MY desire not to hold the fluorescent egg white omlette in your hand, sir, so you can just put it back where ever you found it. Thank you. And stop hovering over the earth it's a little disconcerting.

Year of Our Lord 2011

This year, as I do many years, I'm attempting to lose some weight.

I think I've finally found why I didn't conquer the husk every other year

I didn't have these magnets.



The quotes on the magnets are as follows:

ur body is a temple. Fill it with salad.
Work those buns anywhere.
Fat jeans of skinny jeans? You decide.
Omega-3 fatty acids are a blessing for that tummy.

Finally!
What's missing is Jesus fasting in the desert with a banner held by an angel that says "nothing tastes as good as skinny feels" which may or may not be on my fridge currently and may or may not be very upsetting.

On the next episode of Hoarders...

We attempt to help the author of the blog St. Kitsch deal with his addiction to Our Lady of Fatima.

Bad Photoshop+Bad Jesus Picture=Yes Please

Would you like to know what it looks like when you sodomize a bible?




like that.

Sunday Best

his Sunday, I feel like taking a break from the eye-vomit and just basking in some pretty.

No...it's not a mockumentary

but the level of unintended hilarity might just about push it over the edge.

I.e. the looks on the faces of the crowd.
I can't stop laughing.

Well my new years resolution to not be so mean has gone out the window....

2011

Here's to not over doing it in 2011!



Oops too late. New resolution.

Here's to embracing the beauty of the human voice in 2011!

(stay tuned to 1:11 for the biggest WTF of the year. i promise you, and its only like 5 hours into the new year)

Ok, you know what...you know what, that's fine. This year we will..hm....2011 will be the year of ancient Christian beauty through the icon!



You know what never mind.