Monday, February 28, 2011

Why I'm Happy to Be Catholic

We get stuff like this when times get tough.

If you're a baptist you're stuck with


Saturday, February 26, 2011

Always looking out for you

Found on my trip to universal studios.

It is Betty Boop as Our Lady of Guadaloupe.

Or, Boopaloupe.

Friday, February 18, 2011

Dear Sinners,

I will be going on vacation this week.

I'm going here:

and i'm VERY EXCITED but that means I won't be here to blog until the 27th, so just enjoy what's here. Thanks for visiting!

In the mean tide you worldly, sinful, chillens over


Thursday, February 17, 2011

Can't Help

Can't help but feel that my discovery of the very worst picture of Jesus ever lead to some very small fragment of this song

which will from hence forth be known as my favourite song. For evs.
There's a little urine in my pants from laughing.
I think I'm going to whip that "...bringing up three very lovely girls" next time they since that god-awful song.

I'm happy that in some way, some how, I've managed to let everyone experience the thrill of joy I get when looking at a sh!tty picture of Jesus via that "sacred" heart one.

Wednesday, February 16, 2011

Bad Idea

I have a glow-in-the-dark Rosary, because my high school gave them out for free.
It is actually super creepy because it looks radio active.
There is NOTHING comforting about looking down at a radioactive crucifix, sir.

Tuesday, February 15, 2011

I don't care what your theology is

I'm made uncomfortable by talk of Mary as Co-Redemptrix.
If you like it, agree with it, what ever this is hardly a theology blog.

But what us two can agree on, no matter what our view of Mary,
this is really ugly. Like bordering upon fugly.

I think perhaps I could do an essay for school about the ecumenical value of artistic Christian ugliness.

Is re-blogging a sin?

Well if it is, it's probably only venial.

This BRILLIANT post comes from The Crescat

"... have you ever had to give a speech or presentation to a crowd of people, more than half of whom would rather not even be there? No matter how well you prepared it will always throw off.
Now imagine you are a priest trying to perform your priestly duties and you look out into a sea of bored faces. Imagine you did this every week, multiple times a day even. Certainly, over the course of a year[s], this would have an adverse effect on the priest and the way he celebrates mass. Naturally.
Of course I can not speak from a priest's perspective. From observations on any given Sunday at any given parish and from conversing with various members of the religious community, I can surmise this. I have eyes and ears, and I would like to think a fairly coherent brain that sits between them. My ears. Not my eyes.
Whenever I read a blog about some pathetically served mass, in their opinion ... because you now they have apostolic authority to make these critiques... I always wonder how that person responded in that mass. *Did they tune out the minute they heard some clappy hymn with back up vocals and tambourines? Does anything but fiddlebacks and brocade vestments make their eyes glaze over and charity shut down?
I can understand the zeal and desire to have the most holy sacrifice of the mass celebrated with all the smells and bells. I appreciate that thirst for reverence and tradition. God deserves the best, yes. I agree. What He also deserves is for us to be fully present, mentally and spiritually, during this celebration.
You don't go to some one's house for dinner and insult the hostess's dress or the decor of her home. If you wouldn't behave boorishly at a dinner party than why do you think it acceptable to behave in that manner during mass?
For every priest who half heartily celebrates mass I can bet you his congregation half heartily participates in mass. From his perspective he sees everything; every teenager on their iPhone, every bored fidget, eye roll, yawn, butt scooted kneel and ... are you swatting flies or making the Sign of the Cross?
So Vatican II wants you to actively participate? Then do it. Prayerfully participate. Your "Amen" is a yes, not a mumbled response with no meaning. Listen to the homily, really listen, not just take mental notes so you can bitch about how bad it was on your blog. Open your heart to the Gospel reading, not just stand there switching feet wondering if you can sit down now.
How do I know you do this? Because I have, at some point, been guilty of all of the above... some even at the same time! I know.
I have a little prayer I say to myself in preparation for mass. "Lord, help me not jump to judgement or criticism. Help me, Lord, not get irritated with those around me." Or something along those lines. Nothing fancy but it does the trick. In fact if you can find me a better prayer I'd be much obliged."

Monday, February 14, 2011

Happy Valentine's Day

Hope you weren't too interested in the box of chocolates, because it's time to ruin your day!

Here is a relic of St. Valentine. To be specific, his noggin'.

The tissue paper is a nice touch.

Really, if you think about it, this is actually a very accurate doctrinal assessment of a protestant theory of mediation and intercession.

Also, ugly.

Sunday, February 13, 2011

My life, she is complete

Remember a while back when I posted this?

which is legit the image I always see in my head when ever I hear about "Fresh Expressions"

Well, some (genius)person has finally made the video look the way I FEEL it looked. You'll know what I mean when you've watched it

Saturday, February 12, 2011

Yurg, Blurg, and Vomit

As positively nauseating as this video is, and as vomitrocious as most of the stuff that comes.... OK, like 90% of the stuff that comes out of the Anglican Diocese of Niagara, I must thank them, because without stuff like this I'd be out of stuff to post!

Do you know the story of St. Genesis? (or Genisious, I can't remember how to spell it off the top of my head) He was an actor in a Roman play mocking a Christian worship service, and during this mock play, he has a vision of God and demands at that moment to be Baptised and become a Christian, and some Christians do this for him and he's killed. (At least that's the story I've heard, if I'm wrong feel free to correct me. In fact please do!)

Why do I tell this story?
Because I'm about 95% certain that the "liturgy" going on in that video is the mocking play those Romans where putting on....ugh it's going to take 40 TLM's to get THAT off my eyeballs.

Am I the only one?

That thinks that people that do this to their kids:

really end up making them look like...

I smell a new youtube video cooking up...

A little off

There's just something off about having this

I suppose it could remind you to pray while you smoke...
but it still just doesn't seem right to use the Holy Name to light up a ciggy.

Friday, February 11, 2011

Visual Equivalent

The following is the visual aproxamation of what goes on inside the mind of a person getting shock therapy in a mental hospital.

That poor man in that book does he look himself in the mirror...

10 bucks says that "i'm a little praiser" song has been danced to at a toddler's and tiaras-esque pageant

It's the Feast of my favourite apparition of Mary...

And the French Catholic in me is flipping his lid!
(In case you were wondering, I'm half Irish Catholic and half French Catholic, so I feel very guilty about everything, but at least I'm allowed to cry about it.)
So since today is so special to me, there's only one thing for a boy to do

Ooooh, that's quite nice I'll take one of those...

I'll get one of each of these...
I'll splurge and get the 2 gallon bottle of water from the grotto...

One can never have too much plastic statuary, if I do say so myself and....

Oh...that would be...uhm...a little statue of Our Lady in a bottle of Lourdes water.

I'll get it, but only because it's a special day.


I freaking LOVE this show.

I can remember watching this as a seven year old and proudly announcing my desire to become a nun.
And having that dashed to pieces with the EQUALLY disturbing revelation that boys couldn't be nuns.

I am now going to fight along side the womyn-priests to allow myn-nuns.

Thursday, February 10, 2011

Better than a good confessor

I can tell literally ever I need to know about you based on your reaction to this atrocity. If you thought "how beautiful!" we can be BFF's.

If I had a crest, I am sure the latin motto around it would be

If you CAN put glitter on it.
Put glitter on it.

Wednesday, February 9, 2011

I have a new favourite song!!

You know what.
This is clever.
And catchy.

However, I think premarital sex might deserve a tad more than 4 Our Fathers, 2 Hail Mary's and 1 Glory Be. I mean...if that's the going rate

Have you seen this commercial?

I also think it is applicable to the following image

Mortification of the Senses

There are all kinds of things I could say based on the position Our Lord has taken upon this...pole...but I intend to go to Mass in half an hour and want to recieve Communion and don't need to make my soul any worse off than it is right now.

So use your filthy, worldly imaginations.

p.s. i'm implying this appears to be taking place in a strip club. THERE I SAID IT. Maybe purple club-lighting isn't the best for a holy week processional.

Monday, February 7, 2011

Friends of Kitsch

This one comes from Meredith Gould

And she can keep it.

Now, you KNOW somewhere out there, some poor Portugese lady named Fatima is absolutely drooling over this.

This gives me a raging happy

(Oh, and p.s. welcome to my few new followers. Also, "I'm sorry" to those same followers. That covers everything I might say from here on out.)

Saturday, February 5, 2011

My Room...The Before Picture

"No, really, officer, I have no idea how the fire started."

Friday, February 4, 2011

Anglicans Attempting to be Cool

The following videos present Anglicans trying to be cool. I apologize on behalf of the Anglican Church, and will say 8,000 Hail Mary's in reparation.

Y'all ain't got sh!t on