Happy Halloween, Sinners!

Let your heathen neighbours know who'll be going to Heaven for sure this year with:

JESUS PUMPKINS!

Because that's what all little kids give a damn about on Candy Day.


For halloween this year, Jesus is going out as a 40 year old gentile.


This one's actually kind of neat...too bad it'll be the first one smashed on devil's night. Damn punks!



For those less artistic and more direct.


And finally...
Mary the Mother of Gourd.
Her immaculate conception means that although we had to carve her face out of a vegitable, she felt know pain in the removal of goop.

Plan Ahead!

Listen up ladies, halloween is only...25...5 plus 30 is 35...35 DAYS AWAY.

Not only that, but this year it is on a Sunday, so its important that your child is both prepared and also not dressed up like a common pagan. Here are some ideas for costumes to keep your kid out of Hell and full of candy!

(p.s. God help me if I ever have kids I'm actually going to be the parent dressing them in this stuff.)

This Jedi costume EASILY becomes a Carmelite nun for halloween!
STOP CRYING MARIE. MARIE, LOOK AT THE CAMERA MARIE. MARIE YOU ARE NOT BEING A JEDI FOR HALLOWEEN WHAT DO YOU THINK WE ARE, PROTESTANTS? MARIE. MARIE NOTHING IS SCARIER THAN TB OK?


Your sister gets to be the BVM for halloween because you were last year. Listen, I don't hear your brother complaining.


LISTEN, KIDDO, I'VE HAD ABOUT ENOUGH OF YOUR LIP. YOUR BROTHER IS NOT SAINT JOSEPH. HE IS NOT MARRIED TO HIS LITTLE SISTER. MARIE IF YOU KEEP UP THIS COMPLAINING WE'RE NOT GOING OUT. Your brother is St. Casimir of Poland. Really? Your wig itchy? Oh, offer it up dear. Listen---MARIE---


---Your father does NOT look like an idiot. He looks very holy. No, Joey, you didn't eat your father at Mass this Sunday.