This Didn't Take Long

I'm meellttiinngg

The weirdest thing I've ever seen actually doesn't even begin to describe this
It's not a testimony to the love of a chocolate bar,
It's not some kind of poop-festish pornography,
It's the "Restoration" series by Edwin Lester.
Now, Ok, here's the thing, I get what its supposed to be, the deeper you fall in love with God/obedience what ever the more whole the more human you become.   However

At the risk of sounding like a racist, I don't know if brown is the colour you should have used.

It looks a bit more like some kind of terrifying dementor that is sucking the flesh tone out of the person rather than bleeding it into it.

And I know I'm going to hell for this.  But the first thing I thought when I saw this one is the lips kind of remind me of Apu's from the simpsons when he's singing on the roof...

This one...

What's wrong with me?  Better yet what's wrong with the guy that painted this?

Out of Hand

You'll want to click to see the full sized image.

Ok, so, I was google image searching for "Church as the bride of Christ" because I remembered seeing a painting that was super pretty of it once...if I find it I'll post it

BUT

while browsing, I discovered this picture.  It started out OK with the wedding feast of Jesus and all the cool stuff....then the painter's artistic sentiments got left-behind (get it) and he abandoned it for a HORRIFYING depiction of the end of the world.

JESUS CHRIST!

OH GOD! KIDS! NEVER MIND! WE CAN GO TO THE UN LATER, GET IN THE CAR!

On the plus side, this will make for a very entertaining sequel, i.e. Jesus V Gozilla.

Well it happened with Vampires

If after you have finished your painting of Jesus you think "I'd date that guy" start over.

Maybe someone can write some shepherd-fetish chick-lit called Wool-lite or something and they can use this as the cover.

Reader Submitted Entry!

I know this is wrong, but I love getting reader submitted stuff because A) i feeds my already obese narcissism. B) I don't have to be creative.

So, this post comes from Sarah Walsh who states, wisely,
"apparently the devil has blue boobs; Jesus appears slightly bemused for some reason"

Actually, I think I know WHY Jesus looks so bemused...

The Snuggie by ZICARLOS

The Glorious Sacred Heart of Jesus

I doubt I could find anything kitschier than The Sacred Heart in pictures nine times out of ten. What is it with people that draw the Sacred Heart and being super untalented?

Everyone under the sun has this version in their kitchen. I even have it hanging over my computer.

I really do not have the words to mock this picture. I think it does just fine on its own.

Hooold me clooser sexxyy Jeeessuuuusss... Listen, I get the "Spouse of Christ" imagery that nuns get....MAYBE even consecrated virgins calling Him "Husband" in that sense. But you KNOW somewhere some 8 year old got this on a holy card for their first dang communion and was like "Jesus is so hawt. Jesus is my boyfriend". Ugh, I guess it's good for ecuminical dialouge with those damned evangelicals (and I use "damned" in every sense of the word.)

Another thing I love, Icons. But this Jesus looks like He might have adult onset diabetes. A DOUBLE CHIN? REALLY?

Ok, two things. 1) THAT'S THE IMMACULATE F*CKING HEART. 2) This Jesus looks super Jewish. What with His arms all "it costs HOW MUCH?"