This Didn't Take Long

We Have to go Deeper

I suggest clicking and looking at the full version of this picture.  Because, and I'm not joking, every time you think you found the kitschy, most horrible, hideous part of the statue...and even the background...you discover another thing just a bit worse, it's infinite.  Infinite. 

Get out of my life

Forgive me, but I feel the only caption appropriate for this image would be "And not a single f*ck was given that day."

LOOK AT IT.  LOOK. AT. IT.

Somewhere out there, the worst part of this story is, someone saw this and thought "that is so beautiful."

By the way, I just got a 4 foot statue of Our Lady of Grace for 50 bucks, regular price 150.  

Embroidered Roses Are a Nice Touch

Even baby Jesus is not impressed with being in this God Awful statue.  

It reminds me of watching an old episode of the simpson's before the artists decided how to draw them...

And once again the artist followed my motto: If you can put glitter on it, put glitter on it.  He, however, also decided to eat some of the paste he used on the statue before painting the faces.

June

June is the month given up to the Sacred Heart of Jesus.  The Sacred heart is one of my favourite devotions, and that's why I plan to dress all future children in this monstrosity:

Back 2 Skool!

I miss back to school shopping where the total would be like 40 dollars, and not 1,500 for text books i'll never open.  Maybe this will make it easier.

I found this on a hungarian website.  Then I closed the tab and lost it.  Well, if they're reading they know who they are. Hé fiúk!

You're welcome.

I scraped the bottom of the internet to bring you this.

Black velvet smurfy terminator looking Ecce Homo.  Just...there is so much to cover.

CAN YOU SPOT:

Wonky computer eye?

Weird hamster looking teeth in our Lord's mouth?

A sort of reversed image of "Blood like drops of sweat"

Spock-esque forehead?

Devil's tail? Moobs? Or is Our Lord in the fetal position?  

I just....mm.  I'll need a copy of this in my room in my Mansion in Heaven.

Do they have hoarders in Heaven?  Well, if not I'm sure I'll be the first.

JESUS CHRIST!

OH GOD! KIDS! NEVER MIND! WE CAN GO TO THE UN LATER, GET IN THE CAR!

On the plus side, this will make for a very entertaining sequel, i.e. Jesus V Gozilla.

If He had one, He'd be rolling in it.

It's a tie-Dye-vine Mercy shirt

Well, at least you'll get a chance to explain what Divine Mercy is since every single person you meet that day will be asking "uhm...so....what...is....what are you wearing?" 

Another reader submitted entry!

This one comes from a fella with a pretty bad ass name that I am legit jealous of.


~Royston Price.~




Anyway, I see these all the time and think "I should put that on the blog" but never got around to it.  Mostly because I hate that i love these, and love that i hate that i love these.


Thanks, Royston Price for ruining my night in the best possible way!

view more of them here

they go on for DAYS.

Thanks again, Royston~

What am I looking at?

What is this? I don't even...

Reader Submitted Entry!

I know this is wrong, but I love getting reader submitted stuff because A) i feeds my already obese narcissism. B) I don't have to be creative.

So, this post comes from Sarah Walsh who states, wisely,
"apparently the devil has blue boobs; Jesus appears slightly bemused for some reason"

Actually, I think I know WHY Jesus looks so bemused...

The Snuggie by ZICARLOS

Why?

Why is it that so many statues of the Infant Jesus are just so God-awful ugly?

"So, what is your blog about?"

This.

Laughing Jesus

My least favourite "icon" is anything to do with a "laughing Jesus". Not that I don't think Jesus has a sense of humour, but mostly because, without exception, He looks like a psychopath in these pictures.







NO EXCEPTIONS.

Certianly not Catholic

But certainly bad enough for me to say some things so horrible I can never take them back.



Meet God's Dollz
The Jesusy alternative to Bratz.
Once you've finished rubbing glass in your eyes just to feel again, we'll continue

That's better.

Ok, so basically Bratz/barbies whatever teach little girls about what is pretty/important for girls. Which apparently is being kind of skanky, dying of anerexia, turning into Hedi Montag and getting a brand new face etc. etc. AND if your daughter is into bratz, then looking like a junky crack whore is also what is valued in the female.

I swear, if I ever have a daughter she'll only be allowed to play with statues of the Virgin Mary because at least I don't have to worry about those becoming "heroine chic"

Anyway, since those are not appropriate for Christian girls (and let's face it, 1 in 10 soon-to-be-disowned boys.) we've made "God's Girlz" which are only slightly less slutty. Since dolls are the idealized female, let's take a look at what Evangelical culture values in women:

Long hair that could use a flat iron and/or conditioner once and a while
A face that looks like a pick axe made out with it. Seriously?! Look at that nose. I bet it's like a rejected Bratz head stuck on a less deformed body.
Pooka shells. Really? I guess that's rebelious.........wait is she wearing them ironically?
A Kudos T-shirt. Naturally. they're made by the same company (Oh, how I love Je$u$)
Book bag, because women should learn. In that book bag, a copy of the origion of species with an introduction by Ray Comfort, a book by Mark Driscol on staying a virgin until your wedding and then becoming a freak-a-leak, and an iPod with illegally downloaded hillsong.
Caprice!

Protestant Horror Show Week-Day 4

Bonjour!

Today in St. Kitch's Frying Churchcus we are going to listen to the VOICE OF PROTESTANTISM, no, not Luther....

CRAPPY JESUS MUSIC!

WARNING*WARNING*WARNING*WARNING*WARNING*WARNING*WARNING*WARNING*
THE FOLLOWING ARE EXTREMELY DANGEROUS TO LISTEN TO.
IF YOU CANNOT TAKE IT ANYMORE CLICK ON THE EMERGENCY BUTTON
TO NULLIFY THE EFFECTS

>>>EMERGENCY<<<


-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------



>>>EMERGENCY<<<



>>>EMERGENCY<<<



>>>EMERGENCY<<<



>>>EMERGENCY<<<



>>>EMERGENCY<<<




>>>EMERGENCY<<<>>>EMERGENCY<<<>>>EMERGENCY<<<>>>EMERGENCY<<<

---

SCARY update: If you press play on each of them and start them all together....they almost sound.........good.........

Vomits

Ok, first of all, whoever is typing needs to either lose some weight since they keepmaschingthaeirkeayboardliykehtiashis OR learn to speak english since, I kid you not they typed int

Eucharist
(backspace)
Euchar---
(backspace)
E
(backspace)
Eucharist

GET A LITTLE SELF ESTEEM.

2)I think Our Lord deserves a bit more credit than Google.

3)If St. Paul wrote us today...I know he would mention "and stop trying to compair Jesus to things in the modern world. I mean REALLY come on. I know Christianity translates over time and space...but this just looks desperate and cliche."

Enough of These Things

I have seen so many things that try to show how we are the body of Christ! by having Jesus made up of a bunch of people. However.

This, I think, is the Boogie Woogie man from the nightmare before christmas before they put the cloth over all those bugs.....

In the Tradition of the Last Post

Comes this one

Ok, so let me walk you through it. This is meant to be the Glorious Transfiguration of the Lord Jesus...you heard me. This:

is what it is meant to depict. This artist instead has decided to create the equivalent of this

We really have come so far, haven't we?