My blog spores

Like the mold spores that are spread that make a slice of bread blue, some weird kind of defecation from the collection of Catholic kitsch has taken place and collected itself on the following

Good Lord, deliver us.  What have I unleashed?

Reader Submitted Entry! And the Worst thing I've ever seen.

The worst thing that ever there was.  This comes from Scott and Gail Finke.  Who say


"truly hideous!!!! Who would want this???!!!

Look at the weird Jesus in the wreckage of the towers! WHO IN THE WORLD thought this up???"

Ok, slow down judgey.  What they're talking about is...

The 9/11 Rosary.  Which, I think is an appropriate name for it considering it appears to be an act of religious terrorism.

Yes, it's a Rosary which commemorates the horror of sadness of the attacks of september 11th by worshiping the act as some kind of strange American religion holiday, equating the crucifixion of Our Lord with a tragic attack using the crucifix and beads.  The Crucifix is the "Cross" that was found in the wreckage.  Now, ok, here's the deal, I'm all for the ground zero cross because it was/is a sign that God identifies with suffering, not because He's watched it, but because He felt it.  But.  Ok, you DONT GET TO REPLACE THE CRUCIFIX WITH IT. 

Each of the 50 beads has a name of a state on them.  The OF beads have OL of Grace.  It doesn't feel like idolatry at all.

And this is the center medal.  Which appears to be Jesus BURSTING out of the twin towers wreckage like it was some sort of weird egg He was incubating in.

Congrats, Ghirelli's 9/11 Remembrance Rosary, you are officially the most horrifying thing I've ever seen.

But it here for the person you hate more than anyone else.

Out of Hand

You'll want to click to see the full sized image.

Ok, so, I was google image searching for "Church as the bride of Christ" because I remembered seeing a painting that was super pretty of it once...if I find it I'll post it

BUT

while browsing, I discovered this picture.  It started out OK with the wedding feast of Jesus and all the cool stuff....then the painter's artistic sentiments got left-behind (get it) and he abandoned it for a HORRIFYING depiction of the end of the world.

I...cannot...believe it

WHY DIDN'T I GO TO THIS PLACE WHEN I WAS IN ORLANDO IN FEBRUARY?


The Holy Land Experience - CBN.com by the700club

My irony meter would have exploded
(you NEED to go to that site and watch the video there)

The fact that this place exists speaks VOLUMES about Amerevangelical theology.

But still...

save for the popcorn on the plane part....

JESUS CHRIST!

OH GOD! KIDS! NEVER MIND! WE CAN GO TO THE UN LATER, GET IN THE CAR!

On the plus side, this will make for a very entertaining sequel, i.e. Jesus V Gozilla.

I think this needs a commemorative plate

please note, this IS BEING SUNG IN A CHURCH. There is a table with a bible verse on it, plus a bible (being held up like a koran...theology hint?) and the butt end of a Cross.

And yet, these bastards would string me up for singing "Daily Daily Sing to Mary".

Bad Photoshop+Bad Jesus Picture=Yes Please

Would you like to know what it looks like when you sodomize a bible?




like that.

2011

Here's to not over doing it in 2011!



Oops too late. New resolution.

Here's to embracing the beauty of the human voice in 2011!

(stay tuned to 1:11 for the biggest WTF of the year. i promise you, and its only like 5 hours into the new year)

Ok, you know what...you know what, that's fine. This year we will..hm....2011 will be the year of ancient Christian beauty through the icon!



You know what never mind.

Kitschmas--Day 24

What is the worst thing you can imagine?



this is worse

Kitschmas--Day 15

In which protestants (and lets be honest, it's probably protestants. OK maybe two or three Spanish catholics named maria maria de los mourtes conswela maria immolata)try to fix something that wasn't broke.

Example:

The CHRIST-mas tree. Where there is a neon Cross in it. Just in case you didn't hate your family enough during the holidays, just wait til you see Edna-Mae and Bobbert's CHRIST-mas tree. And have fun with them calling you a child of the whore of babylon for being a Catholic...wait sorry just fell into some person anecdote. Anyway, yep. There's nothing worse Christmas tree wise than that. Noth.....

Oh, feck.

St. Douche of Baggington

Remember the tea-bagger that did this painting?
Well guess what, kids, he's back and "better" than ever.




IT HAPPENED, PEOPLE, IT HAPPENED.

p.s. that guy looks sad because he just had to choose between having a house or getting his wife's breast cancer dealt with.

I AM SO HAPPY GOD PUT ME IN CANADA.

can we call this domestic terrorism?

FOR GOD'S SAKE, JESUS!! Stop POSING and help up dig up some bodies...

p.s. contrary to popular belief, Jesus Christ didn't write the constitution. Nor do I think He would ever say "you have a right to the pursuit of happiness, and by happiness, I mean money"

Protestant Horror Show Week-Day 3

Instructions for consecration to St. Thomas of Kinkade



1) On the first tuesdays of every month, attend "Passover Meal of Yeshua Messiah" and recieve a piece of old el passo soft taco and a shot glass of welch's with reverence.

2) Spend thirteen minutes meditating upon any of the icons which the dear Saint has created

3) Wear a St. Thomas of Kinkade scapular, and recite five decades of homophobic slurs daily.

O, St. Thomas of Kinkade, whose protection is so great, so strong, so prompt before the throne of God, I place in you all my unfortunate taste. Oh, St. Thomas, do assist me to force myself to hang up an Icon of our Lord God in my living room

Oh, St. Thomas, help me by thine intercession to live my Best Life Now, and by hanging up these thine visions of the Heavenly Realms, jilt and shove down the throats of my heathen aquaintences and the hot tub repairmen that I am a Christian, and an American, and not a godlessbabykillingliberalcommiepinkfaggot.

Oh, St. Thomas of Kinkade, pray for those who commit the sin of idolatry by worshipping statues or obama, for the idolatrus Catholic and the idolatrus democrat.

And let those evil spirits, prowling about the world seeking the ruin of THE BEST COUNTRY IN THE WHOLE WORLD be cast into Hell for their idolatry, because this is in no way, shape or form the worship of an idiology or a political belief or a country or an america that never exsisted. The only good communist is a dead communist,
Amen.

Here is Our Lord Jesus singing The Star Spangled Banner, and showing you the proper way to wear a St. Thomas of Kinkade Scapular.

Sometimes, you feel better after you throw up

Ok, let me walk you through it.
This is a piece of "art" which...uhm...it....ok, I've got nothing.
JUST LOOK AT IT.
LOOK.
AT.
IT.
So much is wrong here, I can't even begin. All they need to add, I think, is the Assumption of the Blessed Glenn Beck in the background and it'll be done. Oh, and the devil making out with Obama.

See the details
here.