Merry Kitschmas.

Have a good one, sinners!

My blog spores

Like the mold spores that are spread that make a slice of bread blue, some weird kind of defecation from the collection of Catholic kitsch has taken place and collected itself on the following

Good Lord, deliver us.  What have I unleashed?

Am I giving away my bias?

Kitschmas--Day 23

oh, boy.

Kitschmas--Day 20

I felt like I was looking at a pro-life protest sign. This is an abortion of a decoration.

Note the happy kids showing you how big it is. I'm pretty sure that's the most horrifying thing I could imagine being in my yard.

Kitschmas--Day 14

...seriously you think I can top that with my little comments?

Kitschmas-Day 3

This is like porn for me.

Christmas porn. XXXmas.
Skip to 8:35 to the Kitschmas overload.



WHERE IS MY PHONE? WHERE IS MY CREDIT CARD! I CAN'T DEAL WITH IT.

Kitschmas-Day 2

Whoever made this,



you're out of the club.


actual product description:
"Large Christmas Inflatable featuring Noah's Ark and some of his animal freinds. This inflatables is about 7 feet 9 inches long. Overhead arch proclaims a familar message of Christmas ....."Joy to the World". The entry door to the ark opens and closes and reveals an animated lion and a bear. Proclaim a Biblical marvel this Christmas Season with this Noah's Ark Christmas Inflatable. A guaranteed hit for all children"

And lo, three wisemen came from the East, but didst drown in the Flood.

Kitschmas-Day One

Let's kick this festival of holiday horrors off with my least favourite decoration ever.

the kneeling santa.
because nothing says "we believe in the real meaning of CHRISTmas (and you know anyone who has this chachky spells Christmas CHRISTMAS and refuses to write "x-mas" but instead writes "C-mas" even though C-Mas sounds like a sexually transmitted disease...but I digress) like having Santa present at the birth of Our Lord.
Because Santa Claus came before Jesus was born.
Hmm...something doesn't seem right about that.

KITSCHMAS.

IT'S THE BIG ANNOUNCEMENT YOU'VE ALL BEEN WAITING FOR.

SAINT KITSCH PRESENTS: KITSCSHMAS.

I love Christmas. So this year, as a gift to the internet (you're welcome.) I will post something remarkably wretched and festive every day during the season of Advent.

The religious, the secular, the wtf-ular, it'll all be slapped up on here to be adored and fondled by you, dear readers.

Now, here's the fun part, I WANT YOU TO HELP ME. If you manage to find some christmas kitsch anywhere on the internets, or even have some Christmas decoration from the bowels of hell take a picture and send it to me at fbooth2@uwo.ca and I'll post it here.

Together, we can make this the worst Christmas ever.

Adventures in Missing the Point

Now, I don't wanna get all theological on your asses, but if you buy this you're going straight to Hell.

It is the world's most expensive advent calender, at one million USD, within it are things like fancy-pants watches, fancy-pants TV's...25 of them which you open until the birth of our Lord and Saviour in a barn to a family afflicted with poverty and soon to lose everything they had by fleeing to a foreign country to save the life of their Child...you know what, it's a long story, just enjoy your new TV, because if life has taught me ANYTHING its that the only thing that can ease the suffering of human brokeness is posessing more things...
Merry Christmas!

Be Attitude

This will make more sense after you click on the picture to see the full version.


And Lo, the wise man saith unto Baby Jesus, "O, Baby Jesus, wouldst that Thou wouldst putter there!" and Baby Jesus saith unto him "up top, down Lo, to the side, too slow". And His Mother spake, saying "would that thou hast given me something other than a basket of diapers, for verily verily I say unto you, He Has Enough Already. Likewise, verily verily who hath invited this sassy gay jug handler. For lo, he hath reffered to me as "guuuuuuuuuuuuuuuurl" 16 times today alone, and I am faint with annoyance." And the camle handlers did cast off their robes.
The Gospel Accoarding to Saint Kitch, Chapter 2 verses 1-4.


COMING SOON TO SAINT KITSCH: THE GOSPEL ACCOARDING TO SAINT KITCH WEEK, BEGINNING AUGUST 8 ENDING ON AUGUST 14TH IN HONOUR OF OUR LADY'S ASSUMPTION.

I Would Like One Too.

I wonder how Jesus feels about having statue sets about His birth?

Apparently, very good.

"Anyway, Tommy and Laura-Lee, what St. Matthew left out is that a giant flying lamb attempted to attack The Baby Me, but luckily the giant Princess Barbie you're holding, Laura, swooped out of the heavens and knocked it away! Also: Tommy you are on fire."