Essays are complete! Let's judge!

Well, today I hand in my I-beg-your-pardon-why-do-you-hate-me-professors essays and therefore am now able to judge other people's devotion.

And believe it or not, this is not a set from the upcoming remake of Stephen King's "Carrie" it's someone's home altar.  At least that's what it appears to be based on my google search criteria.

At first I thought "oooh that's beautiful!" Then I started looking.  

KITSCH CHECK LIST:

>Statues wearing rosaries as necklaces (check)

>Terrifying depiction of Our Lord's suffering (check)

>Dead flowers. (Check)

>Our Lady wearing a crown three times the size of her head (check)

>Floating baby heads with wings (check)

>Baby Jesus. (check)

And for extra credit, there's a teddy bear, sitting on Jesus' shoulder.

I'm sorry, this crossed the border lands of art and kitsch, and now it dwells in my valley.

Is that a crown of thorns or a crown of caterpillars?

Look what else they had in Detroit!

There are upsetting statues of Jesus....and there are upsetting statues of Jesus.

You're welcome.

I scraped the bottom of the internet to bring you this.

Black velvet smurfy terminator looking Ecce Homo.  Just...there is so much to cover.

CAN YOU SPOT:

Wonky computer eye?

Weird hamster looking teeth in our Lord's mouth?

A sort of reversed image of "Blood like drops of sweat"

Spock-esque forehead?

Devil's tail? Moobs? Or is Our Lord in the fetal position?  

I just....mm.  I'll need a copy of this in my room in my Mansion in Heaven.

Do they have hoarders in Heaven?  Well, if not I'm sure I'll be the first.

My dream house!

Why God will never let me win the lottery:
"THAT INCREDIBLY CREEPY/DISTRESSING STATUE OF JESUS IS ONLY 9000 DOLLARS. IT'LL FIT IN THE CAR, RIGHT?"

Sunday Best

Every Sunday we take a break from having our eyes vomit and let them smile.
Well, in this case, frown.
Welcome to Sunday Best: LENT EDITION

What am I looking at?

Ok, so yesterday at the store that I love so much I saw...wait for it...an Ecce Homo music box.

So, I google image search for it, right? And SURPRISE it's a whole kitchy series that are in life size.
Let's take a look.



this is what was on the music box. Also a ring of baby heads around the bottom.

If anyone knows like...the story behind these (in my humble opinion) monsters lemmie know down in the comments.