Another Reader Submitted Entry

From Germany

This is a bad idea.  Coming up next, a Chalice for the Eucharist in the shape of a beer bottle for people in AA.  

Essays are complete! Let's judge!

Well, today I hand in my I-beg-your-pardon-why-do-you-hate-me-professors essays and therefore am now able to judge other people's devotion.

And believe it or not, this is not a set from the upcoming remake of Stephen King's "Carrie" it's someone's home altar.  At least that's what it appears to be based on my google search criteria.

At first I thought "oooh that's beautiful!" Then I started looking.  

KITSCH CHECK LIST:

>Statues wearing rosaries as necklaces (check)

>Terrifying depiction of Our Lord's suffering (check)

>Dead flowers. (Check)

>Our Lady wearing a crown three times the size of her head (check)

>Floating baby heads with wings (check)

>Baby Jesus. (check)

And for extra credit, there's a teddy bear, sitting on Jesus' shoulder.

I'm sorry, this crossed the border lands of art and kitsch, and now it dwells in my valley.

Reader Submitted Entry! And the Worst thing I've ever seen.

The worst thing that ever there was.  This comes from Scott and Gail Finke.  Who say


"truly hideous!!!! Who would want this???!!!

Look at the weird Jesus in the wreckage of the towers! WHO IN THE WORLD thought this up???"

Ok, slow down judgey.  What they're talking about is...

The 9/11 Rosary.  Which, I think is an appropriate name for it considering it appears to be an act of religious terrorism.

Yes, it's a Rosary which commemorates the horror of sadness of the attacks of september 11th by worshiping the act as some kind of strange American religion holiday, equating the crucifixion of Our Lord with a tragic attack using the crucifix and beads.  The Crucifix is the "Cross" that was found in the wreckage.  Now, ok, here's the deal, I'm all for the ground zero cross because it was/is a sign that God identifies with suffering, not because He's watched it, but because He felt it.  But.  Ok, you DONT GET TO REPLACE THE CRUCIFIX WITH IT. 

Each of the 50 beads has a name of a state on them.  The OF beads have OL of Grace.  It doesn't feel like idolatry at all.

And this is the center medal.  Which appears to be Jesus BURSTING out of the twin towers wreckage like it was some sort of weird egg He was incubating in.

Congrats, Ghirelli's 9/11 Remembrance Rosary, you are officially the most horrifying thing I've ever seen.

But it here for the person you hate more than anyone else.

Bad Idea

I have a glow-in-the-dark Rosary, because my high school gave them out for free.
It is actually super creepy because it looks radio active.
There is NOTHING comforting about looking down at a radioactive crucifix, sir.

It's the Feast of my favourite apparition of Mary...

TODAY IS THE FEAST OF OUR LADY OF LOURDES!
And the French Catholic in me is flipping his lid!
(In case you were wondering, I'm half Irish Catholic and half French Catholic, so I feel very guilty about everything, but at least I'm allowed to cry about it.)
So since today is so special to me, there's only one thing for a boy to do
LET'S GO SHOPPING!

Ooooh, that's quite nice I'll take one of those...

I'll get one of each of these...
I'll splurge and get the 2 gallon bottle of water from the grotto...

One can never have too much plastic statuary, if I do say so myself and....





Oh...that would be...uhm...a little statue of Our Lady in a bottle of Lourdes water.


I'll get it, but only because it's a special day.

Tekknowlejy

For those either to stupid or to shakey to handle the simplest thing in the world...beads on an effing string it's

THE ELECTRO ROSARY which seems to make the whole "pray on this bead, then when you're done go to the next one" a thousand times easier with "put in 4 AAA batteries, press middle and try to keep up with the flashing lights, then press it again for the next mystery...oh and you'll also have to program it to what set of mysteries you want and if you don't it won't work, oh and it's 40 bucks."

Watching the following video comes with a 95 day indulgence

I'm sure the blessed virgin would be spinning in her grave if she hadn't been assumed into Heaven...



from here

A Poor Decision, brought to you by the Roman Catholic Church

This is the Travel Rosary
As the website describes it,

The Travel Rosary was designed for Catholics who spend time traveling in the car and want to use their time in a rewarding way. Having a Travel Rosary on your steering wheel is a good way to remind yourself to pray the Rosary while you are on the go. Each Travel Rosary is unique and one of a kind. They are custom designed and hand crafted to your individual specifications

EX-SQUEEZE ME?

I can barley KNEEL and pray the rosary let alone DRIVE. When you pray "now and at the hour of our death" you shouldn't BE ABOUT TO CAUSE THE HOUR OF YOUR DEATH BY PRAYING ON YOUR STEERING WHEEL. Please DO NOT ATTEMPT TO PRAY THE ROSARY while DRIVING.

This has been a message from The Saint Kitch Try-Not-To-Die-Today Foundation

Dear Santa,

Oh, my

So much for a bouqet of Roses which will Never Die (like what I did with those capitals there? You can tell I'm SERIOUS by how I Capatlize Everything Spiritual) we'll now chuck sports balls to Mary. I'm picturing her cowering as 53 soccer balls come flying at her face and scattering the Roses all over the place.

I feel like who ever gets these might be...I don't know...missing the point?
Or DESPERATLY trying to get their young kids to pray the Rosary. By turning it in to...sports...merchandise

Buy them here

And the award for scariest thing I've seen yet today goes to...

First a disclaimer.
I'm about as pro-life as you can get. I think abortion is a symptom if a sick, sick society, I think that it is truly a horror when a child must die for our own lives to be free etc. etc. you know all that pro-life stuff.
Anyway, as a pro-lifer I also know that some of the ugliest stuff the RCC has ever created is pro-life in nature.

And thus, my dear children, I bring you:

THE EMBYRO ROSARY

or, to be more specific the Rosary of the Unborn but to me that sounds like some freaky Zombie movie.

BEHOLD:

Yes, dear friends, that would be a little itty bitty fetus in each one of those beads.

Now I know WHY all those pro-aborts wants us to keep our rosaries off their ovaries. If this is the result...ugh....

IMA BUY ONE