Saint Kitch's Liturgial Abuse Extravaganza-Day 2

now i like soccer as much as the next person who is kind of intersted in soccer a little bit, but I have a secret to tell all of you die-hard fans. Jesus is really not intersted in who wins the world cup. I know! Scandal! Shocker! Jesus might have more important things on His to-do list (like i don't know, save babies, try to get you to Heaven etc.) than who wins a game of kick-ball.
ALSO this priest got in a loooooooooooooooot of trouble from his bishop (AS HE SHOULD HAVE P.S.) for doing this...guess he just can't feel the breeze of the Holy Spirit a-blowin' through the Church these days. Boy the Holy Spirit sure gets up to some crazy sh!t now-a-days. No more of this healing the sick B.S. ... WE WANT CRAPPY MEANINGLESS LITURGY AND WE WANT IT NOW.

Woe is me!

THE LUTHERANS GERMANS WON.


(I'm pretty sure that's the devil using Martin Luther as a Vuvuzela. Aslo, i'm pretty sure the devil INVENTED vuvuzelas.)

Oh, the heart within my little anglican frame is breaking.

Although: The Queen is coming to Canada tomorrow. I will be positivley buzzing with excitment.
And I swear upon the Sacred Heart there is not one lick of sarcasm in that. I freaking love Queen Elizabeth II.

Sunday Best

Ok, look, I'm going to be honest. I hope England wins today, here's why.
1) it will un-do WWII. In my mind at least.
2) MY TEAM WILL WIN.
3) I am a Church of England harlot with a Catholic living inside of me.

So, in a desperate bid for intercession, here is Our Lady of Walsingham.

Big Day For All Catholics Tomorrow!

I'm pretty excited for tomorrow, because The Year of Priests will be over and we'll get a new theme!


Now, I like priests, but I get sick of themes after day three hundred and sixty four. Anyhow...



I'll let you know what Poppa Benny decided tomorrow



Also:


THE WORLD CUP! And let's be honest, Italians, Portuguese, Spanish, Irish...they love 2 things: The Vatican and Pummeling Each other in Soccer
Or football for our international audience that doesn't exist.
You know what this means....

Jesus....why are you kicking it AWAY from the children?! What kind of a move is that?! And there is waaaay too much boy-thigh for this picture to make anyone comfortable no matter wth decade it is.

Several things. A) The top says "Inside, Offside, I'm always on YOUR side" WHAT THE HECK? Now the former fundie in my wants to say NO GOD'S NOT GOD IS NOT ON YOUR SIDE BECAUSE YOU COMMIT SINS AND GOD IS YOUR ENEMY AND NO ONE LOVES GOD! But now I just want to say "wtf?!"
B) Our Lord plays Soccer with a giant golf ball.
C) He also recently died His hair blonde, and looks almost like He's growing a play-off beard.

I kid you not, this picture was accompanied on a website discussing the verse about "Jesus Grew in Wisdom and in Stature". Apparenlty not enough wisdom to know not to use your NOSE to head a ball.

Ever since Our Lady of Fatima came around, it's been portugal, portugal, portugal in The Afterlife Cup. Personally, I think it's unfair that Jesus is allowed to use his anti-gravity shoes while competeing, but since the devil is probably cheating somehow, I'll allow it.

Not as obnoxious as the last soccer-rosary I posted but equally ugly and semi-blasphemous.

What Won't They Slap Something On?

...ok let me walk you through it.
saintjudeshop.com, which is becoming my favourite site quite quickly, offers these...holy balls (i mean that in a few different ways.)

Ok, first: YOU DON'T NEED A SAINT ON EVERYTHING. I KNOW IT'S HARD TO BELIEVE BUT FOR THE LOVE OF GOD DON'T DO IT. Second...I'm not a golfer, but I don't know how much inspiration St. Anothony of padua, Saint Jude and Saint Patrick will give me.
"Saint Anthony had visions of the infant Jesus....I'm in a sand trap...which is like a giant litter box....which is like a diaper for cats....which go on babies like Baby Jesus THEREFORE St. Anthony shall be my inspiration"

"Saint Jude is the patron saint of lost causes, he also has a golden plate on his chest with Jesus' picture on it...I, being an old Italian gentleman, have a pace maker which is kind of ismilar a little THEREFORE St. Jude shall be my inspiration!"

"Saint Patrick brought Christianity to the Irish without a single drop of martyr's blood! I am surrounded by rich Protestants here in golftown usa, THEREFORE, like Saint Patrick, I must convert them, however UNLIKE Saint Patrick, I shall do so by smacking balls at them."

It feels like a Theme-Posty day

More sports with Jesus!


I feel like maybe Our Lord has...I don't know...better things to do? Like maybe in Darfur...the Sudan...Haiti...

He's not well known for waiting His turn.




Ok...can it get worse?



OH GOD! Ugh! Ok...WHAT alright...now that's---



UGH!! WT...OH MY GOD IN HEAVEN THIS IS JUST...THE LIMIT

Oh, my

So much for a bouqet of Roses which will Never Die (like what I did with those capitals there? You can tell I'm SERIOUS by how I Capatlize Everything Spiritual) we'll now chuck sports balls to Mary. I'm picturing her cowering as 53 soccer balls come flying at her face and scattering the Roses all over the place.

I feel like who ever gets these might be...I don't know...missing the point?
Or DESPERATLY trying to get their young kids to pray the Rosary. By turning it in to...sports...merchandise

Buy them here