Trinity Sunday

Oh.

Let me walk you through it.

First, let's discuss the fact that the Cross is in there about as uncomfortably as is humanly possible to stick it in there.  Second, God the Father looks like Santa.  There's a reason we aren't meant to portray Him as an old man.  First, it implies He is older than Jesus second, it's hideous.  Third.  The Holy Spirit looks like a seagull.  And not just a seagull but a seagull from The Birds.  As well.  He is on a stick.

And finally, what Catholic statue with something holy on a cloud would be complete without winged baby heads.

Enjoy your High Feast Day y'all!!

We Have to go Deeper

I suggest clicking and looking at the full version of this picture.  Because, and I'm not joking, every time you think you found the kitschy, most horrible, hideous part of the statue...and even the background...you discover another thing just a bit worse, it's infinite.  Infinite. 

Who ever keeps making these

STOP. IT.

YOUR STATUES DO NOT NEED WIGS.

(a song to go along with these terrible statues.)

Happy Ascension Sunday!

Here is the most brilliantly lazy statue of the Lord ever created.  That, or a very have statue on the floor above has finally fallen through.

Don't Eat While You're Watching This

Because you will vomit


Ok, let me walk you through it

A) Ignorance is bliss...well...ignorance is fury.
B) LOVE listening to a protestant not be able to tell the difference between the Virgin Mary and St. Therese
C) That is a perfectly lovely statue, how did this guy get a hold of it?
D) You know...at first I was going to talk about how silly it is that a lot (like, most) protestants can't tell the difference between worship and veneration.  But the I realized just how idiotic this whole mess is, so never mind.
E) Although the best part is when they turn muslim at the end chanting ALLAHUACHBHAR basically.

I think St. Therese is about to unleash a bouquet of something other than roses on this guy if he keeps that up.
Wait...what are the people in the crowd wearing?  are they muslims?  Wait, what's going on?  Now I'm confused.  One of them looks like a nun but no self respecting nun would have put up with that...
Hmm.  I should have planned this post a bit better shouldn't I?  I shouldn't blog before breakfast.

What am I looking at?

What is this? I don't even...

Wrath to Come?

I am actually worried right now.
This is a giant kitschy-ass statue of Jesus, which as you can tell is my speci-ality.

God threw lightning at it and this happened



If that's what He does to ONE peice of Kitsch what is He going to do to this giant collection?!

We are creepy.

Really, really, REALLY creepy.

Christianity is naturally creepy, I mean what with all the blood and canabalism and the like...crowns of thorns, fountains of blood, bowls of wrath...basically we're a goth's dream come true.

My favourite on the list of Catholics-are-creepy list, however, is statues that cry blood. Seriously? I think Jesus might have a tube of black lipstick and a shirt that says "i'm only wearing black until they invent something darker" T-shirt from hot topic.





That one in the middle is of a woman whose name i cannot remember for the life of me who had probably the most intense stigmata ever. For reals. I remember reading about her in this book about like unexplained phenomenon like aliens and stuff and there was a chapter about stigmata and this poor lady...ugh.
TOP THAT, PROTESTANTS. What's that? A casserole dish? A father's day bible study? Oh sorry can't hear you over MY WOUNDS OF JESUS.

In the Tradition of the Last Post

Comes this one

Ok, so let me walk you through it. This is meant to be the Glorious Transfiguration of the Lord Jesus...you heard me. This:

is what it is meant to depict. This artist instead has decided to create the equivalent of this

We really have come so far, haven't we?

Border Line

I can't tell if this is ugly kitsch or devotional art.

It feels like a Theme-Posty day

More sports with Jesus!


I feel like maybe Our Lord has...I don't know...better things to do? Like maybe in Darfur...the Sudan...Haiti...

He's not well known for waiting His turn.




Ok...can it get worse?



OH GOD! Ugh! Ok...WHAT alright...now that's---



UGH!! WT...OH MY GOD IN HEAVEN THIS IS JUST...THE LIMIT

Kitsch in a Weird Way

This is the picture that I have seen about four million times on protestant websites about CATHOLIC IDOLATRY in between passages about worshipping the bible.

Anyhow, I figure since it is such a IDOLATROUS IMAGE it deserves a place here.

Thanks protestants!